Beauty and the Geek?!

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Okay, do you guys remember about Beauty and the Beast Walt Disney story? The story is about a pretty girl who falling in love with an ugly man (actually he is a handsome prince, but because he is very arrogant, he became a beast). I think in the real world, it is very rare that a good looking girl can falling in love with a boy who consider not attractive. What I mean is a real true love, not only because of something else (such as money). Of course it really depends on the person itself, but if it’s happened to you, do you want to marry someone who most people see him/her unattractive?
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Sometimes we have a schema about someone which we feel attractive. This schema (mental structure that represents some aspect of the world) is influenced our way of thinking to choose our “best” partner. This schema also can create a stereotype about other people appearance. A stereotype is a simplified and/or standardized conception or image with specific meaning, often held in common by people, it can be an opinion, or image, based on the assumption that there are attributes that members of the other group hold in common. For example, some people think that a good looking woman is a person who has skinny body, tall, long hair, etc. Or for guys, he must have muscle, tall, nice hairstyle and have a typical “fitness man” body. This schema and stereotype about people who consider as attractive can be influenced by media also. Nowadays media shown a lot of model who have “good looking” criteria and this also can construct our mind about people who consider attractive.

I remembered a story in a radio, it’s about a girl who is very shy because of her looks, she feels that she is unattractive therefore she decided to find online friends. Once, she has online friend (a boy) and after a while they decided to meet each other. She told the boy that maybe she is not a good looking girl, and she hopes after they meet they still can be friends. But as she expected, after meeting with the guy, he never contact the girl again. The girl was very disappointed, and wondering "do all boys like that? Are they only judging someone by her appearance?" There is a proverb that says “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, I agree with that. Sometimes what we see is not always true. For example people who dress very simple doesn’t mean that he/she is poor, maybe he/she is a millionaire who don’t want to “show off" that they are rich, we never know.

Our schema sometimes misleads us to judge and stereotype people. But beside of thinking about someone’s appearance, do we ever think about what is inner beauty? There is a TV show call “Beauty and the Geek”, it’s about attractive person VS unattractive person, usually they have a group of girls which is beautiful (usually a model) and a group of guys which is consider unattractive (usually a bookworm in a school). The goal is to be a couple that can get along and match with each other. This TV shows can be an example that “Geek” people, who consider unattractive, have ability or something special in him. So, once again, it’s not about the way they look, it’s about inner beauty. Beauty is not only about face or body; it’s more about what is in inside, it’s more about personality and not based on appearance. Every person is unique; there is no good or bad looking. I believe that everyone is special, regardless of their looks. So can we try to not judge people based on their appearance?

Good entertainment or bad influence? Parental Guide Pleasee..

Most of us of course like to watch cartoon, especially a funny cartoon. Nowadays we can easily watch cartoon in TV, DVD, or internet. But can we know whether the cartoon is a good one or contain a bad influence for us? I posted some cartoons video from youtube. Maybe you will think that the video is funny, but do you think it is suitable for children to watch?

We all know that children like watch cartoons at home, but do parents know what kind of cartoon their watch? As children grow these media influences become even more powerful. The media influences on children is not always a good influence and parents need to counteract this influence by discussing and monitoring what their children are exposed to.

There is no doubt that the media has an impact on a child, but does it really influence them to act out even though they know it’s wrong? Is the media that influential that it can make a child do something they would never think of doing, if not seen on the television? According to Dr. Susan Villani (1999), “there is an established body of evidence documenting the troubling behavioral effects of repeated exposure to media violence.”

In the Shin Chan video, it shows some nudity and also how this young generation doesn’t have any respect to the parents. Maybe we will think that the film is funny at some part, but is it a good example on how to teach our child about respect? In Simpson film, it shows about bully at school. Is it how we want our children do at school? And for the last film is showing violence. Maybe at first we will think that it is a cute cartoon, but without knowing the content we can be misjudge and let the children to watch it.

It has been suggested that cartoons need to have stricter ratings control stating exactly what type of content is included. It is recommended that parents occasionally watch cartoons with their kids and comment on the characters behaviour that they do and don't like, talk about the consequences of real world violence, and finally parents should try to limit the viewing of extremely violent cartoons. Also the media needs to try to improve the quality of their cartoons and be aware that young impressionable children and watching, learning and imitating.

References

Villani, S. (1999). Violence in the media. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,38,1208.

Is it a good cartoons? You decide..

Is this kind of cartoons are suitable for children?

Shin Chan Cartoon

Or if you cannot view this video, copy this link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lw1yj4lGSs&feature=related

Western Uncle Gone Wild!

This is my story when I was waiting in a taxi stand. Last Friday I went to Vivo with my mum, after we finished shopping at about 9 PM, we felt very tired and decided to go home by taxi. We went to the taxi stand, and there was a long queue already. In front of me and my mum was a young man and in front of him was a western man. The time passed by slowly, and few taxis available that night. When I was queuing with my mum, this western man was speaking in his language; I didn’t know what language is that. I kept on waiting in line and did not care about what he said. But as time past by, he talked louder and louder, and it caught my attention; I was wondering what did he blabber about, because he talked like he was scolding someone, yet he talked to no one. Also, every taxi that passed by he was shouting “Here! Here!!” in an angry tone, and looked into the main gate where the taxi drop off the passenger. For once, he talked in English to a man behind him; he asked whether the taxi also take a passenger from the main gate. The man pretended not to hear him, maybe because he thought that the man is weird and he was listening to MP3 player at that time. As I looked into the main gate, I realized that this western man misunderstood about the taxi procedure in Vivo City. He did not know that the gate is for the taxi to drop off the passenger only. I understand that he was tired and frustrated as there were little taxis available during that time. I also wanted to go home because I have waited about an hour for a taxi. The western man became furious and he jumped from the taxi stand hedge and went angrily to the gate. As he went there, he stopped the taxi and immediately went inside the first taxi available, the first taxi driver asked him to go out from the taxi. So he went out, and stopped another taxi behind. The second taxi did not ask him to go out, but what I saw was the taxi driver explained him to wait in the taxi stand.

I’m trying not to judge his action, but I can’t control other people perception and thoughts. Because there were a lot of people saw the incident that day, social perceptions, which is how people form impression and make inferences about other people, are inevitable. People usually have some thought about other people behavior, which is in this case this western man. Maybe some people thought that this man was weird, or maybe the others feel that this man was annoyed.

We create our own reality with our thinking; something happens and we think about it. What we think determines our reaction and experience. Our minds are always busy making meaning of life events. The problem is that we don’t always know we are doing it. Over time this making of meaning becomes automatic and happens outside of awareness, that’s why it is called automatic thinking. It is automatic because we have practiced certain thoughts and reactions so often. The first think in my mind when I saw his behavior is he was tired and frustrated. I was tired myself, and was irritated by fact of few taxis were available at that time. As of this, it is how I see my emotional reactions; I felt that other people were also felt the same way to. They also tired and want to go home soon. But this western man with his anger cut the queue and takes the taxi from in front. I’m not blaming him because he misunderstood the rule, yet no one told him about it. So based on automatic thinking, other people will think that he is a weird man instead of telling him the rule.

No more violence please!!

Almost every university in Indonesia has a tradition of certain trials during the orientation week of the university year, which are arranged by the seniors. Freshman will be told to do certain tasks during these trials, such as dress with costume, sing a song, and give them lots of “homework”.

The purpose of this is to prepare the student’s mental when they face a tertiary institution. Depending on the institution, trials can last for a week and even to one whole semester. This tradition could bring controversy since violence such as physical and emotional force that can cause an injury or even abuse, is often involved during these trials

A concrete example is in government-run Public Administration Institute (STPDN) in Sumedang, West Java. This institution is well known for its military-style discipline. Parents have filed complaints with the police over the violence their children had experienced while studying there. The evidence shown that the senior do a lot of physical abuse to the new students. Another parent said that it was common for his son to come home over the weekend covered with bruises. One student (Wahyu) died in 2003 after he was assaulted by 20 seniors at the institute[1]. His death caused a national uproar because he was not the first fatality of student brutality. Three years ago, Erie Rakhman had died after a beating administered by his seniors. Seven students were charged in connection with Erie’s death and were sent to prison by the Sumedang District Court. In 2001, the same court sentenced three other STPDN students to five months for assaulting a younger student, Jurinata.

I have attached the video regarding the example that clearly shown the brutality in STPDN. I do not agree with way of trials. It is unbelievable that violence happened in tertiary Institution especially it is a government institution. Government of Indonesia should have taken an action earlier to prevent this matter from happening, as well to prevent for this incident to repeat in the future..

The purpose of this trial can benefit the students, trials are allowed but there should be limitations to this, as long as it does not harm the students because an institution should be a safe learning environment. The seniors should also respect their junior rights, instead of bullying them. It should be the time for the seniors to see the junior skills and areas where they are most capable, which can benefit the institutions too such as sports team.

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[1] http://ipdnwatch.wordpress.com/berita-dunia/more-parents-complain-about-violence-at-stpdn/

The Video of STPDN

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Rs3FpxxeVY

Why Stereotyping? Why make the world more complicated?

Realize or not sometimes people have some kind of stereotype about other people. Stereotype is a generalization about a person or group of persons; it can be a conventional and oversimplified conception, opinion, or image, based on the assumption that there are attributes that members of the other group hold in common. It is a way of representing and judging other people. People may be grouped according to religion, gender, race, ethnicity or any number of other categories

We usually have our own thinking about negative or positive thing in our life and it also affects our thought about people around us. In my country Indonesia for instance, there is a large variety of races, cultures, and religions live together. Can we imagine if the people who belong to the minority clash with the majority group? It happened in Indonesia in May 1998, and also could happen in many part of this world. Personally, I saw what it means to have a stereotype based on your race. It happened during the fall of the second president of Indonesia, Soeharto, were there are riots in some part of the cities with minority race as its victim done by majority race (It was between indigenous people and Chinese). The indigenous people burn the Chinese’s houses and stores. They feel that Chinese people take over most of the economic resources and do not give the opportunity to them. The situation was very terrible, a lot of people, mostly Chinese, were afraid to go out from their house. And some of them choose to leave the country and move to another country.

I have experienced the thrill because my family is Chinese. I cannot understand why some people have extreme stereotype about other people and try to harm them. If I think about my friends or my neighbors from different races, they are not like that; they do not fit with the stereotypes. Most stereotypes tend to make us feel superior in some way to the person or group being stereotyped. Stereotypes ignore the uniqueness of individuals by painting all members of a group with the same brush. We can not judge people based on their race, the idea is not right and can be destructive. It took more than just look at their race and formed an opinion about what kind of people they are. It is not an easy task, because our society often innocently creates stereotypes and its often lead to unfair discrimination and persecution. But we can change it by change our negative thinking about other people. We should change it if we wish to live in a better world.

Pictures of Riot in Indonesia May 1998

Source: www.overseasthinktankforindonesia.com/

Source: http://home14.inet.tele.dk/petergt/gallery/may98/may98.htm